March 30, 2016

Music :)

Music.

One of my favourite things, in the world.

One song can change an attitude, a day, a heart, a mind, a life.

I’ve always wanted to write songs, but I just don’t seem to have that talent.. and so I love to sing everyone else’s. There are so many that have had such a significant impact on my life. Whether it was the lyrics, or where the music took me. . there is nothing about music not to love.

Praise and Worship is a whole ‘nother category. The spiritual aspect really brings the music to life. A living being. It moves through you and through others. We are all connected through it and to the Father. Something so beautiful and holy it cannot be described in words.

I used to be so afraid of singing in front of people. It’s a pretty common fear, but it’s hard to have a fear of something you love so much.  A few years ago, I was feeling like I should be on the Praise and Worship team at church, I knew they needed people but I was like NOPE. That’s a hard no, God. He kept pressing, so I told him that if someone from on the band heard me and asked me specifically to be on the team, then I would. Now I said this knowing that there were no opportunities for them to hear me, as I didn’t sing in public! So sneaky….

God is sneakier.  Lol

It just so happened that a girlfriend of mine asked me to sing at her wedding. . at the same time that our pastor (who was officiating the ceremony) was on the worship band for a short period. He heard me sing at the wedding (honestly, I didn’t do great.. I was so nervous and trying not to cry cuz she was walking down the aisle… put that together and I would like a do-over lol) and told me I should sing on the worship team. I laughed (so polite, I know.. sorry Pastor Tim).

Later, when I got home… I remembered my Gideon-like promise to God. Awwwww *insert light curse word here*. So I not-so-promptly signed up at church for an ‘audition’ to be on the team.

The day of the audition came and to be honest, I was so nervous that I actually considered taking an Advil, because they usually make me feel pretty good. Maybe that wasn’t my finest moment, but I resisted.  I went and did it on my own, with an incredibly shaky voice, and was signed on.

It’s been years since then, and it’s taken me all of those years to feel the same kind of freedom when I worship that I have in my own home, on the stage. And it’s still not quite there.. I can get pretty dramatic in my living room. Alex thinks its hilarious lol but I have never felt more free than I have this year. I can’t say enough about those who have mentored me and encouraged me and pushed me a little further out of my comfort zone, no.. a LOT further, then I wanted to be (ahem Jeff and Ronnie) .. I am so thankful.

To be able to do the thing that I love the most, to celebrate my Father. . with AMAZING musicians; I feel extremely blessed. I’m hoping, and it is one of my deepest desires, that this is the year that I completely and fully forget about the fact that people are listening, and just worship fully. No matter where I am.

Thank you Jesus, for music.