Music.
One of my favourite things, in
the world.
One song can change an attitude,
a day, a heart, a mind, a life.
I’ve always wanted to write
songs, but I just don’t seem to have that talent.. and so I love to sing
everyone else’s. There are so many that have had such a significant impact on
my life. Whether it was the lyrics, or where the music took me. . there is
nothing about music not to love.
Praise and Worship is a whole
‘nother category. The spiritual aspect really brings the music to life. A
living being. It moves through you and through others. We are all connected
through it and to the Father. Something so beautiful and holy it cannot be
described in words.
I used to be so afraid of singing
in front of people. It’s a pretty common fear, but it’s hard to have a fear of something
you love so much. A few years ago, I was
feeling like I should be on the Praise and Worship team at church, I knew they
needed people but I was like NOPE. That’s a hard no, God. He kept pressing, so
I told him that if someone from on the band heard me and asked me specifically
to be on the team, then I would. Now I said this knowing that there were no
opportunities for them to hear me, as I didn’t sing in public! So sneaky….
God is sneakier. Lol
It just so happened that a
girlfriend of mine asked me to sing at her wedding. . at the same time that our
pastor (who was officiating the ceremony) was on the worship band for a short
period. He heard me sing at the wedding (honestly, I didn’t do great.. I was so
nervous and trying not to cry cuz she was walking down the aisle… put that
together and I would like a do-over lol) and told me I should sing on the
worship team. I laughed (so polite, I know.. sorry Pastor Tim).
Later, when I got home… I
remembered my Gideon-like promise to God. Awwwww *insert light curse word
here*. So I not-so-promptly signed up at church for an ‘audition’ to be on the
team.
The day of the audition came and
to be honest, I was so nervous that I actually considered taking an Advil,
because they usually make me feel pretty good. Maybe that wasn’t my finest
moment, but I resisted. I went and did
it on my own, with an incredibly shaky voice, and was signed on.
It’s been years since then, and
it’s taken me all of those years to feel the same kind of freedom when I
worship that I have in my own home, on the stage. And it’s still not quite
there.. I can get pretty dramatic in my living room. Alex thinks its hilarious
lol but I have never felt more free than I have this year. I can’t say enough
about those who have mentored me and encouraged me and pushed me a little
further out of my comfort zone, no.. a LOT further, then I wanted to be (ahem
Jeff and Ronnie) .. I am so thankful.
To be able to do the thing that I
love the most, to celebrate my Father. . with AMAZING musicians; I feel
extremely blessed. I’m hoping, and it is one of my deepest desires, that this
is the year that I completely and fully forget about the fact that people are
listening, and just worship fully. No matter where I am.
Thank you Jesus, for music.