Trials & Praise

Yesterday was a little bit rough. Nothing bad happened.. There were even a few really good things. But I still, at the end of the day, felt sad. My stomach was feeling icky and my back hurt and I was just tired of not feeling like myself. And I thought what I always do: tomorrow will be better. 

But you know, I woke up sad. Still just feeling down. 

Those of you who know me, know that this is not my default. It is, however; something I've dealt with before. I've never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety but I would say I've had bits and pieces of both throughout my life. Never severe and I've always come out of it with natural methods.. *But that's just my story. Everyone's is different and your methods of healthy coping or healing should look like what's right for you.*

Needless to say, I don't like it when it returns and when I didn't wake up feeling like it was a new day and a new chance to not feel any morning sickness, I was discouraged. And mentally prepared to feel that way all day. I didn't have the emotional or mental strength to even try to combat it. And so a bunch of little things annoyed me all morning, I was exhausted just thinking of all the things I needed to do,  and I really did not want to go to church. 

Buuut we went lol and wouldn't you know it, the pastor talked about not focusing on the trials, even though they are real, and to fix our eyes above and just praise anyways. And then there were a bunch of people who went up and just shared how they got to the point they are currently at in their lives and how sometimes you just have to look back and see how many times God has pulled you through or put you in the right spot at the right time so that you know that your current journey/struggle will end and will end joyously. 

So I said to the Father: I'm sorry and I really don't want to feel like this. Truly I feel much better than the beginning of this pregnancy and I'm going to focus on that instead. I got through those months and I'll get through this and all this really means is I have a healthy baby and I just couldn't be thankful enough for that. Help me with this day. 

And you know I'm just now realizing.. Apparently it takes me awhile lol.... I've had a really great day. I haven't felt sad since then and my stomach is even a bit more relaxed. I enjoyed good food, wonderful family and felt happy right till the night. And as I'm lying here in the dark texting this out (it takes forever but I'm too lazy to go get my laptop) I don't even feel afraid for tomorrow :) 

Tomorrow will be even better <3 

Ps. I feel like that was somewhat directionless but I really just wanted to let the world know that im thankful, thankful for where I'm at today.

Ps2. My husband has just done super awesome handling me and my moods and lack of energy and clingyness ;) shoutout to him lol 😜👌🏻💕