The next morning (this Monday) I woke up and got Alex and I ready and halfway through breakfast I realized something felt different. I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly but I just felt.. happy! And excited for the day and how good everything was! Wooooooo! Alex and I had a blast together and then I headed to work.
Halfway through my 5 hour work day, I realized HEY! I haven’t had a headache at all today! Come to think of it, my whole entire head feels AMAZING! There is no pressure, there is no wooshing in my ears, I can even HEAR clearly!! Everything sounds so different!! And then it hit me; I was healed. I AM healed!! It was real!! I’m trying not to sob as I type this right now actually. Hahaha I spent almost every half hour that day thanking God and re-feeling how amazing I felt. I don’t know how to describe it. I felt like .. ME. I was happy, I was bubbly, I was laughing and looking forward to every moment of my day! Just like I used to :’) Oh how I had missed me. I can only wonder how many people have noticed that I’ve not been myself. . and isn’t that just truly fascinating? Talk about being derailed. From being my own person!
Now, fast forward to yesterday. Wednesday morning.. I felt a little something in my head. And panic reared. No, I thought to myself, it’s just nothing. ‘Normal’ people feel random stuff too, I’m sure.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t just once. Throughout the day, it got significantly worse. The pressure came back, the exhaustion set in, the excitement at every part of my day left, and I even started to see small flashes of light.. just like in the beginning of this journey.
How can this be? I’ve been healed, I even FELT it this time, it was not just a confession.
On top of all that, I’m still almost 20 pounds lighter from where I was in the beginning, as well as on thyroid pills! The discouragement would come in waves. I tried so hard to hold on to the feelings of the day before, but they just felt like a memory. It was getting harder to remember the Truth. I turned on my praise and worship and told God that I had believed. That I wanted that to stay. And I heard nothing from Him. But I started to feel my strength returning. I wanted my health to STAY. It has no right to leave me, or to be taken from me.
Shortly after, I headed out for coffee with a friend and we had such a lovely time that I managed to forget for a while, and then it returned full force when the pressure and rushing in my head came stronger then before and it didn’t go away when I stood up. It just continued, I couldn’t hear well at all out of that ear and I told her about it and tried not to freak out. I told her I was mad cuz I had been healed and she said well, you know that. So keep it. And then I remember; oh yeah.. I’m not alone. I’m not the only one whose been praying or who believes as I do. There is just something about having that kind of support that immediately makes you feel like it’s possible again.
I agreed with her and then I remembered; I was so happy yesterday, that I wanted to make sure everyone knew that Jesus did it. So I told someone, and I was so excited. And she was like; and that is the power of prayer. Yes, yes it is! Interestingly enough, I think that’s when things started to change. Which to me, then means, that this actually has nothing to do with me being healed or not. It only proves to me that I am. No way, after I tell someone my testimony, was this going to be the way things go. And I felt peace.
I thanked God for healing me and for my friends and family who have been so amazing and supportive and I told Him that I still wanted to FEEL the change and experience the healing, not just confess and believe it. Because I knew, that just because I told someone He did this wonderful thing, doesn’t mean the enemy can come back and steal my health again, my joy and DEFINITELY not my belief.
I didn’t get better immediately but I went to bed feeling good on the inside. My heart was at peace.
And this morning…. I’M BAAAAACK. Yes, I sang that. Lol I think I’m annoying my co-workers with my extra happiness today hahaha I feel amazing, I feel clear, I can hear properly, I am looking forward to everything! To working, to cooking supper (well that’s on the fence maybe hehe), to playing with my baby girl, to cleaning my house! I can’t wait to hug my husband and share how my today is going with him :’)
Despite what we often feel, see, hear, learn, experience or have been told… we have to have that confidence. When you know that you know what you know.. so many things can change. And it really has nothing to do with us! We are just finally trusting like a small child; faith. And that is when those mountains can move. Metaphorical, physical or the ones in your mind.
All things are possible.
<3
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