Purpose(s)

Purpose.  pur·pose

noun

1. the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

1. have as one's intention or objective.

My purpose in life. What is it? This is a pretty big question. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the fact that I need to be one thing all the time. That I am a mother 24/7. I mean, I LOVE that I get to be a mommy. So very, very much. It’s one of my favorite things in the whole world. But sometimes, it is heavy. You fill yourself with ridiculous standards and unreachable expectations. You get so involved with being the ‘best’ parent you possibly can, that you try to do it the way everyone else is doing it all at the same time and you exhaust yourself. And then suddenly, being a parent has become tiring, and overwhelming.

So how can I combat this? I will never not be a mother again, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.. but I want my energy, and my best for her, to last. I don’t want to burn myself out. She deserves the best of me, all the time.

I was thinking about this the other day and feeling overwhelmed by the fact that I can’t be with her every minute of the day and what is she all missing out on and etc. etc. and then I realized that, it’s okay. I have more than one purpose. I have more than one calling. She needs to know all the parts of me, not just the part that says “Be gentle, don’t eat that, put that down, come here, let’s change your diaper, can I have a kiss?”

Do I believe that when you are a mother/father, your main purpose and your intense focus should be Mothering or Fathering? Yes. Not only does that child deserve your attention, love, teaching and example because you brought them into this world, but also their very life is essentially your responsibility. There are so many reasons to make sure the bulk of your Being is invested in your baby.. and there is nothing quite like that fierce love of a Mother or a Father for their child.

Do I believe that it’s easy to forget we have more than this one purpose? Yes. You can get swept up in the duties and the diapers and the naptimes and the tantrums and almost forget that anything else even happens in this world. *this could apply to your job, your hobby, your partner.. anything. I'm a mom so this is my worldview* 

Now, this doesn’t have to be a negative thing. There is nothing wrong with getting lost in your child’s world, because they need you there. Just make sure you come up for air every once in a while. There are still others that need you, or want to see you. You still have your own thoughts that need thinking.. which is sometimes hard to even imagine that you could think something other than; she looks so sweet when she’s sleeping or I can’t believe we’ve read this book 2198657 times today or oh my gosh I don’t know how to teach you not to scream without screaming myself.

I think it’s easy for us to forget sometimes that we even have other interests, other purposes. And this past year, I have been finding that when I take the time to explore those, my mind is in a better place. It’s expanded, it’s being used in a way other than trying to creatively make mushrooms super fun to eat. (which doesn't work by the way) And it feels good! 

Now, don’t get me wrong.. my main goal is still that my girl feels loved at all times, is developing well, eating properly (which includes a banana a day or else she refuses to go on) and having a blast. However, I have more than just those goals.

It’s almost therapeutic to actually sit down and do something that you just want to do because, well.. you want to! Once my baby goes to sleep at night, sometimes I”ll take the evening to draw, or to watch Netflix.. or both at once! *sings* “You get the BEEEEESSSST of both worlds!”.(to those of you who recognized the Hannah Montana theme song, you are my heroes).

I think there is something to be said for taking the time for yourself. Remember that you are a Mother or a Father, but you are also a Wife, a Husband, a Sister, a Friend, a Photographer, an Artist, a Cook, a Hockey Player, a Reader .. there are so many things that make up your Being. Things that you have to do, things you love, things you want to try.. all of these are you. All of these are important.

So remember to do them all. Don’t be overwhelmed by your main purpose, don’t be overwhelmed by all the things you feel are necessities. Go over your priorities, and sometimes you have to make some changes to them. Maybe the dishes aren’t as important this Thursday as you thought.. maybe playing a board game with your husband, or reading a book are more important. Be aware of what you’re putting in to You. You’re important.

And the best part is, the more You that you are.. the better Mother or Father that you are to your child. That alone is worth it.

<3